June 17, 2007 (TASS) - In the latest twist, after evicting 'loitering' Tamils, and deporting foreigners without visas, Sri Lanka
Slackers are young, mobile 20 to 30 something persons of Sri Lankan origin, most of whom have lived, worked or studied abroad at some point, and have now returned to Sri Lanka "to have a good time, but do no real productive work, and add no value to the country" the island's media spokesman said.
Defense Spokesman Keheliya Rambukewella said "These slackers come to the country claiming they are here to work, when in reality they are only here to party, eat in beautiful restaurants, and are ready to decamp to a luxury boutique hotel at the drop of a hat".
Keyboard Warriors
Most Slackers are also known to be highly active in the internet blogging scene. They are accused of spending hours debating frivolous topics with little logic or argumentative reasoning, whilst at the same time upholding themselves to be the champions of the liberal elite and defenders of Colombo Cool.
They can be spotted on the internet, engaging in vicious comment wars using narcissistic nom-de-guerre's. Some are defenders of free speech, some are defenders of the government, other blog about human rights and some aboutColombo Colombo traffic or Colombo
Pettah Junk
Clearly, all these slacking takes place during working hours. Victor Perera, the Inspector General of Police, is not amused. "These people do no productive work whatsoever. Other countries import highly talented engineers and IIT scientists. What do we get? We get people who take photos of fruits and vegetables and post them on Blogger. These people take us for fools." said Victor Perera.
In addition,Sri Lanka
Business Class
At the moment, all Slackers are being registered and kept in a temporary holding facility at the Lotus Business Class Lounge in Katunayake, which the government has dubbed Camp Lux.
Jean Kouchner, head of Slackers Sans Frontiers, appealed to the civilian population to help them in this crisis. "These Slackers are not like you and me, they need the best food, the best parties and the best business class lounges - without these amenities, we have a real fear for their well being". Reports are coming in of the Belgian Government preparing an emergency airlift of Business Class seats - in the eventuality that the Slackers will end up being air deported.
So far, the government is tight lipped about the deportation destination, but a sources close to the IGP said they would be sent toSingapore , so that they can finally learn "to teach them a lesson on how good they have had it in Sri Lanka
Lifestyle Refugees
Prime Minister Ratnasiri Wicremenayake defended the Government's action, claiming "Sri Lanka
But none of the Slackers we spoke to want to go toSingapore London or Zürich - preferring to instead make a beeline to the slacker climes of Colombo
Said one defiant Slacker: "I don't want to go toSingapore
Lighting Up Sentosa
Opposition leaders, however, are claiming thatSri Lanka should not deport these Slackers, "we should instead rehabilitate them into being productive workers, - that is the only way we can become the next Singapore
Indeed, it appearsSingapore Singapore 's Minister of Worker Rehabilitation, Minister Kwoon says that Singapore will "extract the hot air inside these Slackers and use it to power a special wind turbine on Sentosa Island Singapore
The Singaporean Engineering Department posted on a press release that "this is the next phase of urban development. Stage one was land reclamation, now we are moving onto human reclamation. This will rank as a landmark global engineering project." Minister Kwoon added, "This is not an easy task. After all, these are huge egos we talking about."
Slacker Nation
Despite the Government's claim that Slackerism is contained to a few bad apples, some have a more philosophical attitude.
An analyst at Jane's Slacker Weekly, sums it up "The whole nation is defined by Slackerism. Look at their independence movement - other nations fought with tooth and nail with guns and satyagrahas. What did Sri Lankan's do? They slacked off." The theory, according to Jane's, is that the British Imperial machine had one key weakness - it relied on the majority of their subjects desiring hard work in return for self-betterment. But if everyone wants to party, then nothing works. In the face of monumental the monumental Slackerism of Ceylon, the mighty Empire shuddered to a halt. "The British could not work with an island of all slackers, so they just decided to wash their hands off from the whole enterprise."
Indeed, a historical evaluation shows that that Sri Lanka's so called Independence Movement leaders slacking it off with the cream of the Empire during the 1930's and 40's. Dressed up in resplendent British military costumes or elegant Saville Row suits, their minds ofCeylon
By the Slackers, For the Slackers
Some say Slackerism is also at the root ofSri Lanka me.
We interviewed one Slacker about to be taken toCamp Lux
It is hard to deny that the present Government has engaged in large public displays of slackery. The President is currently addressing a the International Labour Slack-a-thon in Geneva, and this is the third such travel slack-fest in the last 12 months, including a major 60 person party at the ICC Cricket World Cup in the West Indies (sources close to the ICC have applauded the Sri Lankan governmental delegation for taking the "carnival of cricket" slogan to its literal conclusion).
The government's political allies, the socialist Marxist JVP party, are however, not so happy. Their spokesman says "We are not against slacking per se. But we believe that there should exist an equality of slacking for all under a unitary framework. Why should it only beColombo Sri Lanka
One government employee, however, who is definitely not slacking, is the President's younger brother, Gotabhaya Rajapakse. In the last 18 months, the younger Mr. Rajapakse has been busy dismantling past institutions of slacking, including the Cease Fire Agreement and several large sections of the Sri Lankan Constitution.
Fab Cake
Paikasothy Savaranamuttu, head of the CSA - Centre for Slack Alternatives, decries the de-generation ofSri Lanka
A foreign diplomat based inColombo Sri Lanka
As night descends onCamp Lux Colombo , but you can never take Colombo
Slackers are young, mobile 20 to 30 something persons of Sri Lankan origin, most of whom have lived, worked or studied abroad at some point, and have now returned to Sri Lanka "to have a good time, but do no real productive work, and add no value to the country" the island's media spokesman said.
Defense Spokesman Keheliya Rambukewella said "These slackers come to the country claiming they are here to work, when in reality they are only here to party, eat in beautiful restaurants, and are ready to decamp to a luxury boutique hotel at the drop of a hat".
Keyboard Warriors
Most Slackers are also known to be highly active in the internet blogging scene. They are accused of spending hours debating frivolous topics with little logic or argumentative reasoning, whilst at the same time upholding themselves to be the champions of the liberal elite and defenders of Colombo Cool.
They can be spotted on the internet, engaging in vicious comment wars using narcissistic nom-de-guerre's. Some are defenders of free speech, some are defenders of the government, other blog about human rights and some about
Pettah Junk
Clearly, all these slacking takes place during working hours. Victor Perera, the Inspector General of Police, is not amused. "These people do no productive work whatsoever. Other countries import highly talented engineers and IIT scientists. What do we get? We get people who take photos of fruits and vegetables and post them on Blogger. These people take us for fools." said Victor Perera.
In addition,
Business Class
At the moment, all Slackers are being registered and kept in a temporary holding facility at the Lotus Business Class Lounge in Katunayake, which the government has dubbed Camp Lux.
Jean Kouchner, head of Slackers Sans Frontiers, appealed to the civilian population to help them in this crisis. "These Slackers are not like you and me, they need the best food, the best parties and the best business class lounges - without these amenities, we have a real fear for their well being". Reports are coming in of the Belgian Government preparing an emergency airlift of Business Class seats - in the eventuality that the Slackers will end up being air deported.
So far, the government is tight lipped about the deportation destination, but a sources close to the IGP said they would be sent to
Lifestyle Refugees
Prime Minister Ratnasiri Wicremenayake defended the Government's action, claiming "
But none of the Slackers we spoke to want to go to
Said one defiant Slacker: "I don't want to go to
Lighting Up Sentosa
Opposition leaders, however, are claiming that
Indeed, it appears
The Singaporean Engineering Department posted on a press release that "this is the next phase of urban development. Stage one was land reclamation, now we are moving onto human reclamation. This will rank as a landmark global engineering project." Minister Kwoon added, "This is not an easy task. After all, these are huge egos we talking about."
Slacker Nation
Despite the Government's claim that Slackerism is contained to a few bad apples, some have a more philosophical attitude.
An analyst at Jane's Slacker Weekly, sums it up "The whole nation is defined by Slackerism. Look at their independence movement - other nations fought with tooth and nail with guns and satyagrahas. What did Sri Lankan's do? They slacked off." The theory, according to Jane's, is that the British Imperial machine had one key weakness - it relied on the majority of their subjects desiring hard work in return for self-betterment. But if everyone wants to party, then nothing works. In the face of monumental the monumental Slackerism of Ceylon, the mighty Empire shuddered to a halt. "The British could not work with an island of all slackers, so they just decided to wash their hands off from the whole enterprise."
Indeed, a historical evaluation shows that that Sri Lanka's so called Independence Movement leaders slacking it off with the cream of the Empire during the 1930's and 40's. Dressed up in resplendent British military costumes or elegant Saville Row suits, their minds of
By the Slackers, For the Slackers
Some say Slackerism is also at the root of
We interviewed one Slacker about to be taken to
It is hard to deny that the present Government has engaged in large public displays of slackery. The President is currently addressing a the International Labour Slack-a-thon in Geneva, and this is the third such travel slack-fest in the last 12 months, including a major 60 person party at the ICC Cricket World Cup in the West Indies (sources close to the ICC have applauded the Sri Lankan governmental delegation for taking the "carnival of cricket" slogan to its literal conclusion).
The government's political allies, the socialist Marxist JVP party, are however, not so happy. Their spokesman says "We are not against slacking per se. But we believe that there should exist an equality of slacking for all under a unitary framework. Why should it only be
One government employee, however, who is definitely not slacking, is the President's younger brother, Gotabhaya Rajapakse. In the last 18 months, the younger Mr. Rajapakse has been busy dismantling past institutions of slacking, including the Cease Fire Agreement and several large sections of the Sri Lankan Constitution.
Fab Cake
Paikasothy Savaranamuttu, head of the CSA - Centre for Slack Alternatives, decries the de-generation of
A foreign diplomat based in
As night descends on
